SHIT AIN'T EASY

We all have those moments, the ones that take us aback. I have them more often than not. I have come to understand that once you have awakened, there's nowhere to go back to. You cannot go back to sleep so to speak, or close your eyes to the truth all around you, to your soul, to your purpose. At least that has been my own story.

To be 'awakened' does not mean you are free from fear, or free of sorrow, for me anyways. I am only HIGHLY aware now of my fear, and of my sorrow. To be that aware of how you feel, to be the one who now observes your fear, your old thought patterns, does not always come easy. There are days that are naturally really hard. I have come across many blogs, many awesome teachers, and sources of self-love Journeys and the art of HEALING, but to be completely honest, I get a sense that they are not all that honest. I have found that a lot of people portray a perfect path, and only half of the truth that brought them to that place of love. If you are here, and you were GUIDED here for some reason, there's a good chance that you know exactly what I mean. 

This journey we are on, the one of self-awareness, self-love, MINDFULNESS, and HEALING, well, SHIT AIN'T EASY, to be completely frank. Oh I could talk days about the RESISTANCE that comes up when you walk forward to a place of Inner Peace. How the moment you feel as though you totally know what's up now, there's a whole new lesson for you to learn, and those lessons can knock you down, that's for sure. But we get back up, we do, but I have found that not everyone talks about that part, the part where we fall down. Where ego catches us off guard, where we feel small, or when we wonder when we'll get past the 'hard' part. 

Everyone has a story of there own, and maybe we do not all feel the need to share the parts of ourselves we are not so proud of, but I want to, as vulnerable as that makes me feel. Yes, I could totally go on and on about how perfect my path has been, how every day I feel so connected and groovy, and how the world comes easy to me now, but that would not be my truth. And I am not sure I could really serve anyone or even myself from a place that's not fully AUTHENTIC. 

So, to the moments that take us aback. Well, today was full of those sort of moments for me. Self-doubt came to play, and self-love took a seat on the bench. You see, I have a lot of dreams, I am a huge dreamer, and a heart so full of love to share, and when I am grounded, I know I am worthy of all of those dreams and more. However, when I am not grounded, when for whatever reason I feel off, ego pulls out the most fearful parts of me. The parts of me that I open myself up to heal everyday. The part of me that's beyond scared to fully go after my dreams, to fully put myself out there, to be seen. 

Today was not a bad day, nor would I say today was a good day. Today was exactly what I chose today to be when I really look closely. Why was I so hard on myself today? On my appearance, on my path, on my Inner CHILD? Because I had lessons I needed to learn. There's always a lesson to learn. And that's how we grow. That's how we become the heroes of our own story. That's how change takes place. Change does not happen because every day's perfect, or because we put on a mask to cover up the parts of us we don't want others to see. Change comes when we choose to be fearless, even when we are fearful. 

Maybe you have moments that come up for you, that make you doubt yourself, that make you doubt the path that you are on. The only words I have for you, are to TRUST. Trust what the UNIVERSE has planned for you, what your God has planned for you. And I understand that that's not always easy, I fully understand that, but when you choose to trust the lessons that have been brought your way, there's usually a sense of support you'll feel all around you, a presence, an energy, that wants to help you flow as effortlessly through the lessons as you can. Ego and our need to control are usually what makes us struggle the way we do. So, TRUST. Trust yourself, SOURCE, angels, Mother Nature, love, and TRUST that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, even when you cannot understand why. 

Peace + Love

For an awesome post about detachment and Trust, check out KRISTIN HEDGES blog post here!! Her words helped me a lot today!! 

Hello, Thank You, and Goodbye

The water fell from the sky. 
I heard her say Hello,Thank you, and goodbye. 
I had searched for so much more than those few words. I had yearned to feel her love, I had hoped for her presence. To merely know we were somehow connected based on more than our blood, for her to see me, even once, even for a moment. 

Hello, Thank you, and goodbye, 
words I have heard all too often. A sense of defeat, a heart on the mend of broken. The softness of those words, I could have allowed them to swallow me whole, and stay oh so small. 

But I choose to see her ,then, now, even though she closes her eyes to me. I choose to see her. She's beauty beyond words, she's a star, and always has been. So strongly protected, so far from her truth, how could she see my soul, when she had turned away from her own. 

Tears had fallen down my face, and caressed my freckled cheeks. Sorrow from my past had become my present, I could be angry, I could feel let down. But what I saw was her sadness. What I saw was her own story. What I felt was love for the wondrous soul who brought me here. 

BE THE LIGHT, was what I heard through the tears. BE THE LIGHT. Open your heart to yourself, open your heart to her. Take down your own walls, see your own soul, and see past the walls she has created. 

Hello, Thank you, and goodbye. Words I had heard all too often, became new to me.  Hello to second chances. Hello to open hearts. Hello to FORGIVENESS and COMPASSION. Thank you to WHISPERS of profound words of love, and Thank you to moments of sorrow, moments so raw they break you open. 

And goodbye. Goodbye to the sad story I have told myself for far too long. Goodbye to the need for you to be anyone other than who you are. A soul, the same as me, on your own Journey of self-love and DISCOVERY. 

BE THE LIGHT, was what I heard through the tears, and so I shall be. FIERCELY, and fearlessly, I shall BE THE LIGHT for you, and for me. Here's to the day, both of our hearts, WILL LIGHT UP THE SKY. 

Namaste

Only Love's Real

Masks, who we feel we are supposed to be, and who everyone else wants us to be. The face we put on to make the rest of the world happy, the perfect person who only feels HAPPINESS. We have all been there, or we know someone who has. I know for me, personally, I have had to really go deep WITHIN myself and accept that I am enough exactly as I am. I have come to a place where I know the only way I can be truly happy, and at harmony's when I am my AUTHENTIC self. What does that mean?

For me, to be my AUTHENTIC self means to accept all parts of me. The good and the bad (or at least what we have been made to see as bad), the LIGHT and the dark. All of the energy and love that flows through me, and all of the sadness and sorrow I have to face so that I may heal. These are all parts of me, and they all make up who I am. The moment I allow myself to accept myself, fully, and completely, then I can allow the energy that does not serve me to pass through. 

I am a VIBRANT soul, a person who dreams of love and knows love can heal us all. A person who feels every EMOTION, and feels most at home when I am at peace WITHIN myself, and when I am surrounded by POSITIVE, wondrous, souls, and loved ones. But I have days when I feel sad, really sad, and days when I feel angry, and scared, and unsure. I know these are all an ILLUSION, that they are not real, because ONLY LOVE'S REAL. I know these EMOTIONS are there for a reason, that I feel them for a reason. To learn from, to accept, and move forward from. We are all a makeup of the energy we feel, and the energy we must release, so that we may grow and blossom. And yet we are taught that we are supposed to have IT ALL TOGETHER always.

Perhaps we are meant to feel, really feel how we feel, and feel the energy that comes up for us, so that we can LOVINGLY love all parts of ourselves, and trust that we are love. 

How can we get to the place of INNER peace and self-acceptance when we are so scared to AUTHENTICALLY be ourselves?

 To be real, completely honest, and own our struggles as much as we own our successes. The moment you accept your struggles, no matter how bad they may seem, as a BEAUTIFUL part of your path to ENLIGHTENMENT then you start to take the shame away. And all those ILLUSIONS that seem to keep us stuck, well they start to fade away more and more. At the end of the day we all go through what we are meant to go through, and the MAGICAL part's that we can take our power back, moment by moment, when accept ourselves fully. When we start to change what we see as good and bad, to STEPPING STONES to our truth, to our love. How can you start to be AUTHENTICALLY you now? Maybe when someone asks you how you feel, be honest, whether you feel truly happy and great, or maybe sad, or you have low energy, maybe that you are HEALING. There's so much beauty that comes from honesty. When we let go of the need to PAINT THE PERFECT PICTURE, and see that we are perfectly IMPERFECT the way that we are. 

Take down the mask, let go of the person you feel you are supposed to be, the person someone wants you to be, and open your  heart to who you are, to the love that you are. There are days we all need rest, days we need a hand to help us through, and then there are days that we SHINE, that our souls RADIATE. Maybe we can learn to accept that together, accept that we are awesome, even when we cannot see past all the other B.S. Accept that when we are AUTHENTICALLY ourselves we learn to truly love ourselves, and when we truly love ourselves, we come back home, come back to that peaceful place where we know and feel that only loves real.