Rose

There she stood, her heart had been at last, broken open. Cracked, raw, totally shattered. She had always thought a broken heart was means for sorrow, for heartache. What she had learnt, was that once her heart had been broken open, she could see clearly, and the past  had started to shed from the curves of her body, the same way a snake sheds layer upon layer. 

Maybe her heart had always been broken, and maybe all she really needed was an awareness, to be awakened to the constant ache that dwelled WITHIN the playground of her soul.  The constant ache that moved her to look up, to look through the fog. 

Clear eyes, and an open heart that had been full of messy chaos and lessons learnt. She had been cleansed, and she danced as her walls crumbled down all around her. She could have been fearful, she could have been stubborn and she could have chosen to stay small as a bud, too scared to start over, to relearn who she truly was. 

She could have been. But her soul longed to play, to dance, to run amongst the flowers.

And so she rose. 

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//Photo Found on PINTEREST//

YOUR WILD FIRE WITHIN

Walk fearlessly towards love. Actually, run.
Run fearlessly, and FIERCELY.
Run, run so fast that the sound of your heartbeat echoes all around you.
Run towards love, and then dance, and move, and breathe for love.

Allow love to permeate your naked, raw self, allow love to fuel your INNATE, WILD FIRE WITHIN.
Allow love to create chaos, a BEAUTIFUL chaos. Allow love to change you, to open you up, to break you open.

Feel how love makes you feel. Feel every ounce of that CREATIVE energy that flows through you now. Feel yourself expand, feel your presence soar.  Feel love heal you. Feel how love can free you.

Walk fearlessly towards love. Actually, run.

Dear Dad

I was angry. I wonder why that's so god damn hard for me to say? I was angry. And I am very much aware that a part of me holds onto to that anger now. To be honest, I started to put those words to paper as took out my notebook and yet for some reason felt drawn to release whatever comes up here, on my blog, for all to see. I feel exposed for some reason, and pretty raw. We can talk all day long about how to LIVE a SPIRITUAL LIFE, and on how to love more deeply and fully, but to actually share my deepest of wounds to whomever reads my posts, well that's a whole other story. But yet, here we are, and here I am, about to get really real.

I was angry. I could stop there really, because those words alone have always made me uncomfortable. I have always chosen to see the good that's WITHIN all of us, even for those who have upset or hurt me the most. So to acknowledge how angry I felt, was a huge step for me. 

 A lot of my own wounds, you know the ones that never really heal unless you show up and tend to them, well, they stem from my father, and they hurt so FUCKING bad some days. Even on the Journey I am on, and all of the HEALING I have done, some wounds are deep, and they tend to take us longer to free ourselves from.

So, why was I angry? Well, to spare you all a long story, that we all have one or another, here's why I was angry, angry at my Dad. (Tears stream down my face as I type those words, because I know what a BEAUTIFUL soul my Dad has) I was angry because he has always been gone one day and then here the next. I was angry because I always felt as though a part of me was on a quest to feel connected to my Dad, to know that I was ever so loved. I was angry, because on Father's Day, he could not show up for me. I was angry because everyday, he chose to not show up for me. I was angry, because he seemed okay, and he seemed happy, and yet, we were always apart.
How could my heart ache so badly, and he, okay?

I know the only love I truly needs the love of myself, but yet I struggle to let go of the need to feel accepted, or to feel needed by my Dad. I know he loves me, I do know that, and I understand that we all do the best we can. I also understand that you can never really show up for others, unless you show up for yourself, and so here's my struggle. I am so aware of the goodness that my dad has, I see so much of myself WITHIN that man, but yet, I also feel so angry. And I know I have to allow myself to feel that. To truly feel that, so that anger can be healed, so I can let go of my past.

I am not sure how the story unfolds from here, I sobbed my way through the whole post, and somehow feel LIGHTER. I know my most profound and BEAUTIFUL lessons stem from these wounds, from the unseen CHILD that LIVES WITHIN me. My prayer's that she'll one day feel seen, and know from her deepest of depths, that she's loved, that I am loved. 

I pray that we all heal those wounds that cut us the deepest, and I pray that we can come back stronger, and our hearts more open than ever. And may we acknowledge that we are all apart of the same Journey, and above all us, show up for ourselves, and then we can truly show up for those we love the most.

Dad, In case you ever come across these words, know that even though I, yes, feel anger towards you, lesser every day, that I love you. I love you for you, your truth, the soul that permeates through all the BS. I love you for the man I know you are. And even though we rarely see one another, I see you, and feel the energy between us, that sacred love that connects us. I pray that one day, we can return to that place, where we both see each other, where we both choose to show up. 

Love always
Car

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Have you ever done all that you can to 'save' someone you loved? Have you ever wanted someone you care about to change, to heal, to grow, to love themselves? To love you? Let's be real, we ALL have been there one way or another. The need or DRIVE to 'INSPIRE' someone we cared about to change. We only want for them to be happy, RIGHT? Well, I have come to understand, for myself anyways, that you cannot, and I repeat cannot, 'Save' anyone, and you cannot make anyone change. They have to want change for themselves, I repeat, THEY have to want change for themselves.

PEOPLE DO THE BEST THEY CAN WITH WHAT THEY KNOW, BASED ON HOW PRESENT, CONSCIOUS, AND AWARE THEY ARE. 

But.. we can LOVE them. And I don't mean, the sort of love that causes us to want them to change, or to heal the shadow parts of themselves. I mean UNCONDITIONAL love. And by that I mean, NO CONDITIONS. And by no means does that mean you become a door mat, you do not even have to be around the person to love them UNCONDITIONALLY. All you have to do IS show up, whether you show up PHYSICALLY, or ENERGETICALLY, UNCONDITIONAL love knows no bounds, knows no obstacle. Send them love, and send them LIGHT. 


We all have those people who are apart of our Journeys, and yes they are there for a reason, but the truth's that, even though we may not understand them, or understand how they treat us, or maybe how they see the world, that's not about us. I repeat, for my own sake, THAT'S NOT ABOUT US. And we cannot take on the world all by ourselves, we have to understand that they too, have a path to follow, and though that path may be very bumpy path, or one you don't want to be on, can you love them anyway? Can you choose to see them for who they really are? When we place Judgement on others, we really place Judgement on ourselves. 

We often say that love UNCONDITIONALLY. I mean, I hear people say those terms a lot, and yet I see those same people, MYSELF INCLUDED, turn around and retreat that 'UNCONDITIONAL LOVE' the moment the present CONDITIONS don't match up to what they wanted.  

Are you even aware of the CONDITIONS you have placed on your RELATIONSHIPS, on the people you love the most, or the ones that are apart of your path whether you want them to be or not? I know that for me, I have become very aware of the CONDITIONS I have placed not only on others, but on myself as well. However, yesterday, I had a total wake up call, or as Oprah would say an 'Aha' moment. I had Robert Holden's awesome Hay House RADIO show on,  and as he talked to a very lovely woman, he spoke the most BEAUTIFUL words, and I knew they would change my outlook from here on out. 

'GOD HAS NEVER TRIED TO HEAL ME, HE ONLY LOVES ME'

'GOD DOESN'T SAY, TODAY I AM GOING TO HEAL YOU, HE SIMPLY LOVES ME'

HOW BEAUTIFUL IS THAT? Honestly? He only loves me. I heard those words and started to reflect on the CONDITIONS I have placed on those closest to me, my parents, etc, and how much I (ego) wanted to save them. How much I (ego) needed them to change, needed them to be on the same path as me, to understand me, to love themselves, to love me. Granted, these all sound pretty normal, but that's not my work, that's not for me to carry on my shoulders, or on my heart. All I need to do IS love them, love everyone, UNCONDITIONALLY, and only then can I love myself the same. If I choose to constantly place CONDITIONS on others, and choose to see what's 'wrong', I deny myself the very love I had yearned for all along, I deny myself the chance to see past the ILLUSION that we are separate. 

And don't get me wrong, to actually show up, and love someone UNCONDITIONALLY, well that's one hard lesson and maybe the most BEAUTIFUL and PROFOUND one we can learn. No matter how much someone may push your buttons, send them love. No matter how dark the path they have walked, send them LIGHT. No matter hurt you feel, send them love. Send them FORGIVENESS. Send them hope. To love someone UNCONDITIONALLY says to them, yourself, and to the world, 'You are perfect the way you are, because you are DIVINE love. You are enough, and you are loved, no matter what, and I'll show up for not only myself, but for you, because we are love.' 

Are we not all on the same Journey anyways, one way or another? Let's choose to love one another. Let's choose to love ourselves enough to let go and release all of those CONDITIONS we place on ourselves and on everyone else. They create walls, they create separateness, they create ILLUSION. Even when you feel you have to walk away from someone for your own WELL BEING, and chances are one day you'll have too. So walk away, head held HIGH, and pebbles of love at your feet for those who may one day need them. 

Ask Yourself

Ask yourself how do you want to feel? How do you plan to fuel the deep seeded PASSION that has RISEN WITHIN you? How do you plan to SUSTAIN that pure, sacred, and INNATE sense of purpose and DIVINE awareness? Ask yourself how do you want connect to the world, to Mother Nature, to yourself? As the BEAUTIFUL DANIELLE LAPORTE would say, how do you want to FEEL? Once you narrow down how you want to FEEL, and truly connect to that space, to that awareness, that's where the MIRACLES start to happen. So, go deep. Be brave, and honour how you want to FEEL, honour the PASSION, the love that fuels you. 

Open Your Heart To The Blood Moon

There's a beauty WITHIN you, a LIFE FORCE so very present, that holds the power of the DIVINE. There's a STILLNESS that can ground you, that can open your heart to the coloured sky above you. There's a breathe you can rely on, that can return you to love, to your FIERY soul. Hold close to you, the part of you that knows only peace. Allow yourself to be warmed by the pure essence of who you are, a DIVINE BEING OF LIGHT AND LOVE. 

>Photo Found On PINTEREST<

Happy Blood Moon everyone!! Always remember to nurture yourselves and allow all of that energy to move through you. Open yourself up to how you feel so you may release what no longer serves you, and so that you may expand your awareness of your truth and your soul's purpose. 

LOVE + LIGHT

SHIT AIN'T EASY

We all have those moments, the ones that take us aback. I have them more often than not. I have come to understand that once you have awakened, there's nowhere to go back to. You cannot go back to sleep so to speak, or close your eyes to the truth all around you, to your soul, to your purpose. At least that has been my own story.

To be 'awakened' does not mean you are free from fear, or free of sorrow, for me anyways. I am only HIGHLY aware now of my fear, and of my sorrow. To be that aware of how you feel, to be the one who now observes your fear, your old thought patterns, does not always come easy. There are days that are naturally really hard. I have come across many blogs, many awesome teachers, and sources of self-love Journeys and the art of HEALING, but to be completely honest, I get a sense that they are not all that honest. I have found that a lot of people portray a perfect path, and only half of the truth that brought them to that place of love. If you are here, and you were GUIDED here for some reason, there's a good chance that you know exactly what I mean. 

This journey we are on, the one of self-awareness, self-love, MINDFULNESS, and HEALING, well, SHIT AIN'T EASY, to be completely frank. Oh I could talk days about the RESISTANCE that comes up when you walk forward to a place of Inner Peace. How the moment you feel as though you totally know what's up now, there's a whole new lesson for you to learn, and those lessons can knock you down, that's for sure. But we get back up, we do, but I have found that not everyone talks about that part, the part where we fall down. Where ego catches us off guard, where we feel small, or when we wonder when we'll get past the 'hard' part. 

Everyone has a story of there own, and maybe we do not all feel the need to share the parts of ourselves we are not so proud of, but I want to, as vulnerable as that makes me feel. Yes, I could totally go on and on about how perfect my path has been, how every day I feel so connected and groovy, and how the world comes easy to me now, but that would not be my truth. And I am not sure I could really serve anyone or even myself from a place that's not fully AUTHENTIC. 

So, to the moments that take us aback. Well, today was full of those sort of moments for me. Self-doubt came to play, and self-love took a seat on the bench. You see, I have a lot of dreams, I am a huge dreamer, and a heart so full of love to share, and when I am grounded, I know I am worthy of all of those dreams and more. However, when I am not grounded, when for whatever reason I feel off, ego pulls out the most fearful parts of me. The parts of me that I open myself up to heal everyday. The part of me that's beyond scared to fully go after my dreams, to fully put myself out there, to be seen. 

Today was not a bad day, nor would I say today was a good day. Today was exactly what I chose today to be when I really look closely. Why was I so hard on myself today? On my appearance, on my path, on my Inner CHILD? Because I had lessons I needed to learn. There's always a lesson to learn. And that's how we grow. That's how we become the heroes of our own story. That's how change takes place. Change does not happen because every day's perfect, or because we put on a mask to cover up the parts of us we don't want others to see. Change comes when we choose to be fearless, even when we are fearful. 

Maybe you have moments that come up for you, that make you doubt yourself, that make you doubt the path that you are on. The only words I have for you, are to TRUST. Trust what the UNIVERSE has planned for you, what your God has planned for you. And I understand that that's not always easy, I fully understand that, but when you choose to trust the lessons that have been brought your way, there's usually a sense of support you'll feel all around you, a presence, an energy, that wants to help you flow as effortlessly through the lessons as you can. Ego and our need to control are usually what makes us struggle the way we do. So, TRUST. Trust yourself, SOURCE, angels, Mother Nature, love, and TRUST that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, even when you cannot understand why. 

Peace + Love

For an awesome post about detachment and Trust, check out KRISTIN HEDGES blog post here!! Her words helped me a lot today!! 

Hello, Thank You, and Goodbye

The water fell from the sky. 
I heard her say Hello,Thank you, and goodbye. 
I had searched for so much more than those few words. I had yearned to feel her love, I had hoped for her presence. To merely know we were somehow connected based on more than our blood, for her to see me, even once, even for a moment. 

Hello, Thank you, and goodbye, 
words I have heard all too often. A sense of defeat, a heart on the mend of broken. The softness of those words, I could have allowed them to swallow me whole, and stay oh so small. 

But I choose to see her ,then, now, even though she closes her eyes to me. I choose to see her. She's beauty beyond words, she's a star, and always has been. So strongly protected, so far from her truth, how could she see my soul, when she had turned away from her own. 

Tears had fallen down my face, and caressed my freckled cheeks. Sorrow from my past had become my present, I could be angry, I could feel let down. But what I saw was her sadness. What I saw was her own story. What I felt was love for the wondrous soul who brought me here. 

BE THE LIGHT, was what I heard through the tears. BE THE LIGHT. Open your heart to yourself, open your heart to her. Take down your own walls, see your own soul, and see past the walls she has created. 

Hello, Thank you, and goodbye. Words I had heard all too often, became new to me.  Hello to second chances. Hello to open hearts. Hello to FORGIVENESS and COMPASSION. Thank you to WHISPERS of profound words of love, and Thank you to moments of sorrow, moments so raw they break you open. 

And goodbye. Goodbye to the sad story I have told myself for far too long. Goodbye to the need for you to be anyone other than who you are. A soul, the same as me, on your own Journey of self-love and DISCOVERY. 

BE THE LIGHT, was what I heard through the tears, and so I shall be. FIERCELY, and fearlessly, I shall BE THE LIGHT for you, and for me. Here's to the day, both of our hearts, WILL LIGHT UP THE SKY. 

Namaste